And end

I could spend all day looking at your face,

or perhaps, gently touching your porcelain skin.

I am going to trace your pores to draw diamonds

and other shapes that define the preciousness

of your capriciousness as a woman—

which I adore—

Always. Every day. Every single minute.

I could wait in front of your door until midnight

while you are somewhere else, partying, drinking,

perhaps kissing random strangers.

I could forget about those memories.

I could refuse to taste the beer that envelops your lips.

I would kiss your eyelashes instead.

I would love to feel those delicate follicles,

I would love to smell the scent of your tears

brought by yesterday’s misery.

I would embrace tonight as if this is my last,

our last…

Because when you wake up tomorrow,

I would reveal these desires I've been keeping

ever since I met you.

***For Andrea. Original piece, March 20 2012.

Ground Zero

After two months of abstaining myself from your presence, I found you again in one of the places where we once built a memory.

You found me—drunk and I bet you thought I’m happy. With a bottle of beer of my left hand and a cigarette on my right, slowly dancing to the songs that enveloped that crowded place, who would’ve thought that I was actually bleeding while I was standing on my feet? Who would’ve thought that I am weakened by the lyrics, by the ambiance and by the familiar faces around me?

I thought it was over—the storm inside me, or maybe I should rather call it the hurricane. The force is still there, destroying my sanity. Wishing to turn back time is a cliché but I am probably one of those hopeless mortals who want to make the hands of time turn counter clockwise.

I want to go back to where it all began. And when just in case it happens, expect that you will never ever get to know me—that drunk person whom you found fascinating and carefree and happy. That drunk person who have been sincere and loving and full of hope. That drunk person whom you’ve actually destroyed.

For a moment, in the dome

We’re breathing the same air. We’re listening to the same music. We’re watching the same bands. We’re humming the same tune. And perhaps, we even have the same thoughts on some of the songs they played.

We could be less than a hundred steps apart. But it seems that we’re miles and miles away from each other. Yes, the distance is immeasurable now.